Hidden away behind iron gates and cavernous club houses, the great pyramids await. Like the less famous pyramids in Egypt, the golf ball pyramids are a wonder of nature. Not widely seen, these glorious stacks of balls can only be found on the driving ranges of high priced golf courses and country clubs.
Pyramids are even better when they are made from golf balls
On most golfing days I am faced with usual task of plopping down an extra $5.00 for a range balls prior to my round. However, on the rare occasion that I get to play a country club or high brow public course, all bets are off as I know I will be greeted to sheer joy in the shape of golf ball pyramids. Hundreds upon hundreds of balls just waiting to be hit. The only problem is that like a good meal, it is hard to leave the plate unfinished. Making the situation worse is when there are stacks balls not only on the driving range, but on the chipping green and god willing, behind the sand trap. It is really a wonder I ever make it to the 1st tee box with so much opportunity. I mean, I think my brain literally calculates how much I am saving with every swing of the club.
For you lucky folks who belong to such club and simply appreciate the convenience of the golf ball pyramid, my hats off to you for your worldly success, but for the rest of us, they will remain one of the 7 great wonders of the world.
Every now and then I get to play on a really nice course which sets up the classic good and bad situation. Good because I get to play a great course, bad because the expectations immediately become heightened. The fact of the matter is that playing a super nice course does not always translate into a super nice round and while it is not too hard to stomach a hack job on a municipal track, it is a bit rougher on the ego when it happens on mac-daddy course.
it’s a fun game..right?
Case in point – Last winter, my wife bought me a foursome for a private course which I finally got around to booking last week. So with 10 months of anticipation, yesterday was the big day. An up and down par on #1 was a good sign, but after that it got ugly and ended with a 89.
Fortunately, this is not my 1st rodeo and have learned a bit about disappointment. Just last week I played in a tournament with hopes of winning. Then on the 1st tee box, the sky opened up and we played in a down-pour for 4 holes. While I tried to remain steady, the wheels fell off and my dreams of going low went the way of the dodo bird.
It is precisely this balancing act of grinding out a score and the desire to have a fun day that I find to be quite challenging because my happiness is in part tied to my performance. For many people golf is only a social activity which would make this situation much easier. Unfortunately for me, scoring and fun are always partially linked. Is this a bad thing? I don’t have that answer, but for now I will rest on acknowledging the situation is a least part of the solution-or maybe I just need to drink more beer.
This weekend I will be playing in an individual handicapped tournament so along with my regular obsessive mental preparation I will also have another issue to wrestle with-getting over the fact that there will be sand baggers hidden amongst the field. Put another way, if I am to win on Saturday, I will not only have to hope my swing is grooved and putting is rock solid but also that the golf gods will curse the dreaded sand baggers.
To be clear, there are two types of sand baggers. The first kind are more like pool sharks. They play for money and try to get you to give them more strokes than they deserve. To me this is just good old fashion hustling and gamesmanship. On the other hand, there are the guys who deliberately keep their USGA handicap higher than it really is in order to get a competitive advantage in tournaments. These are the people who really suck!
Anyone lugging this around is sure to be one of the bad guys.
Sand baggers are an evil group. Golf is hard enough without having to compete against someone who has intentionally swayed the odds in their favor. Most sand baggers will defend their position by saying that their regular Saturday round should not be part of their handicap because they did not putt everything out or they did not play the ball down but in the end, they are just distorting the truth-and they know it.
Or, maybe I am just the only dummy who enters every score and strives to get their handicap as low as possible. On the one hand it makes me feel good when my index actually goes down, but whenever I play a tournament, I get whacked because not only do I have to play my best, but I have to give strokes to some dude who is really 4 stokes better than his handicap.
There is no sure fire defense against the evil sand bagger, but I have found that constant public berating can help the cause. On Saturday I will be paired up with stated sand bagger and to be sure, I will be giving him a regular reminder of his evil ways in hopes that one day he will see the light and start playing fair.
Quest for Augusta: If there is one illusive dream that nearly all golfers share, it is to play a round at Augusta National. Every so often, my buddies and I will try to put a percentage on our chances to reach the holy land of golf. Mostly the number is predicated on how many influential people we think we will run into over the next 20 years. Personally I put my chances in the neighborhood of 5% based on the few heavy hitters I kinda know and the fact that my flexibility makes me a perfect candidate for a last minute fill in.
Some Quests Never End
Unfortunately, my probability calculation is likely flawed from the beginning since I surely over-estimate the number of people who actually play the course. I have no idea what the real number is, but given that it is open only about 4 months a year the percentage of golfers who actually get onto Augusta must be about .001%. Despite the odds, I shall remain faithful to the quest in true Don Quixote fashion. To date, I have at least managed to go to the Masters and last month I played a round of golf with a guy who actually teed it up at Augusta National (and who knows, maybe this post will get me one step closer- Hint, Hint).
Three Guys Golf Blog: Matt and I butt heads on a lot of subjects, but one thing we agree on is that Tiger Woods is a bad ass. Last week, Matt went “on the record” with his take on Tiger. This week I thought I would follow up with mine.
I did not grow up a boxing fan but back in the late 80’s when Tyson was in his prime, I would do about anything to watch his fights. Whenever there was a Tyson fight, I could be found frantically looking to cheese in on a house that had Pay-per view. The draw was simple, Tyson was a force of nature, a terror, a man among men, a wrecking ball that could not be stopped. Unfortunately, the sport only got to see a few brief years of brilliance before it all went to hell.
Like most boxing comebacks, it did not end well, but never once did I root against him, even when it was clear he was a bad, bad man (need evidence-check this out). To this day I am still a huge Tyson fan and will remain so until he decides to eat a small child (which is not out of the question).
The original Tiger
Now the reason I bring up Tyson is because I think there is a great similarity to how I feel about Tiger. Back in the early 2000’s, Tiger would tear up the field with thrilling shots, heart-stopping putts and a will to win not seen since #23. Then nearly 2 years ago, it fell apart and Tiger has never been the same. With each start, our collective hopes rise anew but sadly we have yet to seen any flashes of greatness. I know some people have turned on Tiger believing him to be a bad man no longer worthy of their fan-dom. This line of thought just befuddles me. I mean, do you really expect a guy who was told he was the best ever to not get a little on the side? Is the moral bar higher for a golfer than a boxer because they compete at exclusive country clubs? Either way, what I do know is that I absolutely miss the fear he would instill in the field, the mind boggling shots and drama that he brought to every tournament he played in.
While Iron Mike has long left the building and we have likely seen the end of a dominating Tiger, I am hopeful we have a few moments of greatness left.
Tiger Woods: Well, it’s a Wednesday and I just found out by chance that Webb Simpson won last weekend’s tournament, a playoff tournament no less. My state of oblivion can be attributed to two factors: 1) I spent much of the weekend in San Francisco trying to figure out how one takeout pizza and salad costs $45.00, and, 2) Tiger Woods was not playing.
Yes, I am a Tiger groupie. I am not ashamed. I never got tired of seeing him win and I never cringed when TV cameras showed him 90% of the time even if he wasn’t leading the tournament. The dude is nasty, and right now in the collective minds of golf fans everywhere, he is underrated. A few thoughts (okay, opinions), in no particular order:
1) I have always been disappointed in Tiger’s interviews, wishing he could somehow show the funny side that I hear so much about, lighten up a bit, etc. So in that light, I could almostbarelyslightly understand when people would proudly declare “I hate Tiger, he’s so boring”. Fair enough in regards to interviews.
However, let’s not forget that before Tiger introduced his patented fist pump, watching someone contend and/or celebrate a Tour win was like watching Ferris Bueller’s teacher get selected for The Price Is Right – an awkward mix of lethargy, excitement, and unbridled dorkitude. Seriously, Tiger freaking invented the modern level of excitement in golf.
’nuff said.
2) I don’t hold it against the rest of the Tour that they will always just be flopping around, no one guy really achieving dominance. It makes sense to me – these guys are all awesome golfers, and on any given week, any one of them can go scary low or really stink it up. I remember that this was how golf always was pre-Tiger . . . you would watch it on TV because you liked golf and the courses looked sweet and it created a nice vibe on a Sunday (unless a buddy called with a tee time on Sunday, in which case, you’re gonzo). Maybe Greg Norman would pull one out, or maybe Bob Tway would skyrocket to fame for about 3 weeks before vanishing into thin air. The last two years have seen the return of this type of Tour. There is no real reason to expect anyone to win on any given week . . . of course we can always look for the notables like Mickelson and . . . uhhhh, well we can always root for guys like Rory, DJ, Fowler, Furyk, etc.
Anyway, I look at this not as a negative statement on the guys on Tour, but as a testament to how truly ridiculous it was that Tiger was able to so clearly dominate. Absolutely ree-got-damn-diculous.
3) Okay, of course Tiger has had a come-uppance in the past few years. He’s not playing well. His family life has made it difficult for someone like me to unanimously defend the guy. Furthermore, recent indications of Tiger being a bad tipper, being a donkey to Steve Williams, etc. all point towards the possibility that the dude is not quite as cool as I’d always imagined. (I am briefly tempted to remind everyone that the world has possibly never met a bigger d**k than Stevie Williams in the past 10 years, but that’s beside the point.)
Ultimately, I don’t care about that stuff. He’s not Darth Vader evil, and he hasn’t yet punched my 1 year old son. I just want to witness the game’s greatest do his thing. Which leads me to . . .
4) I’ll go on record stating that Tiger will return and make it known that he is still the best out there. I’m not expecting Tiger-Slam-esque dominance, but I refuse to believe that we have seen the last of him being No. 1. The injuries scare me more than anything else – assuming he remains healthy, to question Tiger’s game and mental state in the long-term seems downright foolish to me. I can’t believe people are fretting about his swing changes, or thinking he’s “lost it”. He’s done swing changes before, only to come back better than ever. But more importantly, if this guy has earned anything in his career, it is enough respect for his talent, game, and drive that he should never be cast aside like a has-been. Right now Tiger is back at the lab, he’s healthy, and he’s pissed.
Michael Jordan has never won a popularity contest as far as I know. If he had, he wouldn’t have won as many rings. Tiger is the same breed of ultra-competitor. The dude loves golf, and he’s more obsessed with winning than any of us ever expect someone to be. It can be off-putting at times like these when you want him to just admit that his chances of winning the tournament are pretty low, but ultimately, I guess that’s part of what makes him a champion.
If there’s one lesson he’s learned in the last 6 months or so, it’s probably that only playing good golf will get him back to where he wants to be in life. So in my opinion he’s got the motivation . . . I hope we’re not questioning his ability.
I would bet that the most commonly played golf tournament is the big corporate event – the “Chamber of Commerce” annual $125 outing. While I am not here to bash those tournaments, I think there is something to be said for a smaller event made up of local friends. For the past three years I have organized such an event and since we just finished this years installment, I thought it would be a good time to share a few tips that I have found helpful.
Good planning will reduce the chance of disaster
1) Pick the date way in advance: I secure the date nearly 10 months prior to the event and while it may seem obvious, there is nothing worse than finding out your event is two days after the course punches the greens.
2) Get the word out early: Even if you only have a relatively small tournament, I would recommend using a email service rather than your personal email as you are going to end up emailing your group many times over the year. I have found mailchimp to do a great job since it is free and super easy.
3) Get a good rate: Shop your event around to a couple of courses. Depending on your numbers, you should be able to get a deep discount off of the rack rate, and don’t be shy about asking them to throw in extras like range balls and drink tickets. As a guide, the course our event was held at has a $50 rack rate but we only paid $35 including range balls.
4) Get prizes from the club: The more you spend at the club, the better the rates they can give you. For example, all of our prizes we had were gift certificates to the club house which I was able to purchase at a 30% discount. In other words, I got $1000.00 worth of gift certificates for only $700.00.
5) Ask the club to donate a prize: It is really easy for the club to throw in a free round of golf so simply asking will give you one more prize you do not have to pay for.
6) Hook up with a charity: Attaching your event to a charity has a lot of benefits (most notably raising money for a good cause). Additionally, it will add credibility to the event, reduce the bitching and generally give you an excuse for anything, ie, “dude, its for charity, get off my back!”
7) Use a raffle: Selling mulligans and raffle tickets is a super easy way to raise money for the charity allowing you to utilize nearly all of the entry fee to fund the prize money.
8) Don’t skimp out on prizes: Go big with your prizes. I like to have about 1/3 of the field win some type of prize whether it is a top finish, closest to the pin or a raffle. If you budget your money right you can make it such that anyone who wins a prize feels like they got paid to play golf. Trust me, those guys will be back next year!
9) Ask for donations: Again, this is why you hook up with a charity. You would be surprised how many people want to give you stuff. Whether it is a real estate broker who gives you koozies or a company who throws in logo golf shirts, it is all good for a raffle or goodie bag.
10) Take pictures: The old saying “a picture tells a thousand words” is true. You will be have ample opportunity to use photos in your email blasts and will be happy you have them.
While this is not a complete list, I think it does help those who have never run a tournament, but are in the market to do so. If you have run a tournament, I would be interested in what you think are some keys that I left off the list.
If you are like any self respecting man, the idea of wandering around a store aimlessly looking for nothing in particular is akin to being paired up with a guy who shoots 130 but still insists on 8 practice swings and marking his ball after each horrendous putt. Personally, I have always been confused by my wife’s ability to happily spend 2 hours in Target then walk out with nothing. That was until I found my version of Target, it’s called Golf Galaxy. Yes it is the Walmart of golf stores, but there is one thing that keeps me coming back – the indoor driving range/golf simulator.
Now I love a real driving range, but being a cheapo, it’s hard to pass up the opportunity to stop by the local Golf Galaxy, pick out a random used driver and pound out 150 balls on the simulator. Unfortunately, I am not the only bum who has this idea, so knowing when the store is slow is key to guilt-free ball beating (that and making friends with the employees so they are fully aware that you have no intention of buying anything and leave you alone with your obsession).
Clearly, there are some advantages of an outdoor range
On a serious note, I do believe that hitting in a simulator is really helpful as it lets you see how technique effects club speed, smash factor and a host of other measures. So the next time it is raining, cold, or you just have 15 minutes to kill, don’t hesitate to stop into your local golf shop and whack balls…and tell them Three Guys Golf sent you!
Captain’ Choice: This weekend I will be playing in a Captain’s Choice tournament which got me thinking, why is the format so darn fun? First, for those of you who have never played in a Captain’s Choice tournament let me give you a quick introduction. The format is simple. Each team member tees off and proceeds to the spot of the best drive where everyone hits their next shot. This continues until the ball is holed. Basically, it means you get a 250 yard drive and a 4 to 20 foot birdie putt on every hole.
All-Star Captain’s Choice Foursome
In no particular order, this is why the format works so well:
1) It is a great for high handicappers since it lends itself to making it possible for even a team of bad golfers to shoot below 80.
2) It gives you an idea of what it is like to be a pro. Going 8 under is unheard of for amateurs but when you get four 12 handicappers, it can be done fairly easily.
3) What is better than 5 hours on the golf course, 28 beers, 4 buddies and making birdie after birdie? Umm, nothing.
Side Bar:
So I was thinking about the above foursome. I figure Captain America would be the A player – big bomber off the tee despite a tendency to pull yank it. Captain Morgan is probably a hacker, but with a few drinks in him can pull off any number of lucky-ass shots. Captain Crunch would be the short game wizard. Not very powerful, but a keen eye for reading greens and an uncanny ability to stick a short iron close. Finally, there is Captain Kirk who is likely a horrible golfer but exceptionally skilled in making sure the cart girl comes to visit every other hole.
Tiger. There I said it. Now we can get on to the subject at hand. Actually the fact that yet another 1st time major winner took the trophy home is just another reminder of how dominant Tiger was and how spoiled we fans were. Remember when you could count on watching Tiger contend week in and week out? Gone, those days are gone and so are the days of being able to root for your guy every Sunday.
I have tried to move on from Tiger by going with a team approach. Since I know that no one player can be trusted to contend every week, I have chosen 8 guys to root for in hopes that I might get a winner now and then. Meet my team: Dustin Johnson, Rickie Fowler, Nick Watney, Anthony Kim, Bubba Watson, Hunter Mayhan, Jim Furyk and Jason Day. All pretty darn good players but there are plenty of weekends that half of them don’t make the cut and none are in the top 5. I guess I could put Rory on my team but even the chosen one has yet to even begin to dominate like Tiger.
While Tiger melted down, more unknows came alive.
Ok, lets talk PGA tournament. What always jumps out at me is how mentally strong PGA players are. How Keegan Bradely dunks a ball in the water on 15, takes a triple, and then turns around and goes birdie, birdie, par is a testament to how resilient they are. The one thing we all can relate to is a triple, but few of us have the skill or fortitude to recover the way he did. As for Jason Dufner, who I felt really bad for, he showed major steel when he nailed his birdie putt on 18 (in the playoff). Making a 12 foot birdie putt when he had to know the match was over just proves how incredibly focused they are.
So another major, another new guy of the week. At least an American finally won.
Scotty Cameron: How many of us buy golf clubs and gear based primarily on brand or logo. I know I am at least partially guilty. And to be fair, what person in their right mind would buy a Ping hat over a Titleist hat? It is not even close. Worse, take Wilson Staff who despite a long prestigious history, now only has street cred with castaways.
Is this the best Wilson can do?
The fact is, brand matters. Yes, the actual product quality is important, but without great branding, the product can only go so far. On the other hand, great branding can make up for so-so product performance. Best case you get both, eg Titleist who has great products and world class branding. Ping on the other hand has solid products but a horrendous logo. It literally kills me that I play Ping irons but cannot bear to wear a single Ping branded item.
It’s not even close which logo is cooler.
When it comes to putters, no one dominates like Scotty Cameron. Now I don’t propose to have any legitimate information about Scotty Cameron, but like any self respecting man, lack of knowledge will not stop me from making stuff up and passing it off as truth. What I do know is that if you are basically the only guy with your name on a putter, you are The Man! I am not sure if Scotty is that much of a bad ass or if he is just the only guy who ever tried such a bold move? Either way, Scotty knows what he is doing. Matt even swears they are made with fairy dust.
Case in point, in 2000 when I started playing golf, I bought a used Scotty Cameron Laguna for $80 (and had no idea who Scotty Cameron was). I kept it in the bag for 8 years before I sold it for $120 (and I probably left money on the table). Now that is resale value.
So what makes Scotty Cameron putters so special? First, they look bad-ass. Since 1/2 of loving a putter is the pure look and feel, Cameron is light years ahead of the competition. The three dots and the screws looks insanely cool. Plus it’s called “Studio Select” – enough said. As for the performance, butter, pure butter. The only downside is that they are like $300. Still, if there is one club to spend money on, it would be a putter. Except we are amateurs hence morons. So instead of investing in a great putter, we drop all of our money on the club we hit maybe 14 times per round. That’s why this week I went into the store to buy a Scotty Cameron but came out with an Odyssey #9. One day I might wise up and drop that extra $200, but not today.
Just a couple of quick thoughts from the British Open:
1. Our rush to anoint Rory McIlroy as the next Tiger is laughable, and I mean nothing against Rory when I say that. The kid is a bad-ass, no doubt, but good lord . . . it took until late in the 3rd round for the broadcast to stop forcing his mediocre play onto our eyeballs. Just like anyone else on tour, he’s not gonna dominate week in and week out. Tiger is the only guy that was able to do that, and “talent” was only a fraction of what made that possible.
But I guess what I hope is even more clear now – without Tiger around, there is nothing more futile than trying to predict a major winner before the tournament starts. I think ol’ Adam may have even put money on Luke Donald, which seems logical given his #1 ranking, recent victory and stellar play . . . the thing is, that all ultimately means nothing. Look at the last year or two of major tournament winners – McDowell, Oosthuizen, Kaymer, Schwartzel, McIlroy, Clarke (ouch, America). All of these guys were out of the blue, no way anybody picked them to win it. To the media: let’s stop trying.
2. I hate to say it, but I might be temporarily “over” the British Open (unless it’s at St. Andrews). I appreciate the history of the game and I dig the fans over there, etc., I just don’t really care to watch that style of golf on TV. Well, of course I care to watch it, but I don’t think it’s up to par with the Masters from a pure golf viewing standpoint. More often than not, the only way I know a shot is good is because the announcers have told me so. I know these pros are incredible, obviously, but too often it seemed that their “touch” was more of a random roll-out on a green that was never part of a precisely planned shot. And of course, the fact that one group can play a round in a tsunami and then two hours later another group is throwing lawn darts into a 0 mph wind always strikes me as odd. As my buddy Craig pointed out, perhaps the fact that Tom Watson is a semi-legit threat to win the thing every year is all the evidence needed to suggest that this tournament isn’t exactly golf’s greatest test.
3. I’m guessing it’s impossible for anyone to be unhappy that Darren Clarke won this thing. He is known to be a great guy, and by all accounts appears to be just that as you watch him make his way around the course. I was actually proud of both him and our boy Dustin Johnson when they were cracking up together at various points during the round. I always wonder if most pro golfers have little to no sense of humor, OR if golf coverage has just always failed to let us in on the real deal.
4. Gotta love me some Rickie Fowler. Everyone’s knee-jerk reaction upon seeing him and his outfits is that he must be some kind of annoying little Teen Beat brat. In reality he’s tough as nails, as we saw at the last year’s Ryder Cup, and his swing is insanely cool. If I could somehow convince him to bend the brim of his hat, he might have a new gold member of his fan club. Also gotta give a shout-out to Dustin Johnson, as I think he has separated himself a bit from the crew of young US guys. And finally, good to see Anthony Kim back on his game . .. looked like he was maybe the only one taking himself seriously out there, proving he still thinks he’s nasty, which is a good thing.
You want me to bend what?
5. I don’t recall seeing one mallet putter while watching this tournament. Everybody had the old fashioned blade putter . . . was the 2-ball/Futura/Waffle Iron putter just a fad that has run its course? I’ll keep an eye out in future tournaments and get back to you. Wow, what a cliffhanger . . .
I confess, I am as guilty as the next guy of watching the Golf Fix, reading Tiger tips, and any other game improvement article. But I am here to say that they should all come with the disclaimer “for amusement only”.
Don’t get me wrong, Michael Breed is a genius. While he may be able to pump out more fixes than MacGyver has answers for short fused bombs, I dare anyone to take a hula hoop to the driving range or any other of his homemade contraptions. I venture to say that taking any of his advice seriously is a recipe for mental disaster. I mean, could one man throw more swing thoughts at you in 30 minutes?
Breed and MacGyver: Making the world a safer place
As for Pro tips that we read in golf magazines, they are as relevant as baseball instruction is to a volleyball player. While Bubba and I may both play a game we call golf, there is exactly zero comparison to the game that is being played. Ever read a Tiger Tip? Telling me to relax my middle tibia muscle while I pro-nate my left ulna does as much good as telling Rosanne to just lay off the pasta-it ain’t gonna happen.
It’s not that pros don’t want to help us, it is just that they cannot wrap their head around the fact that we just are not that good. For example, I saw Graeme Mcdowell talk about how he was working on not coming over the top. Let me tell you, he does not know what coming over the top is. If Graeme Mcdowell swings over the top, then sign me up!
Now to be clear, I am not hating on Michael Breed or Pros who write instruction, it has just become clear to me that very, very few (Hogan for example), are able to break it down to a level that us mortals can handle. No matter, we will all continue to digest all of their words of wisdom. I am just learning to take most with a large grain of salt.
1) I would bet that NBC is currently negotiating how to get out of their contract with the PGA so they can begin broadcasting the European Tour.
2) Mr. Turtle’s Putt Putt golf course has named Robert Garrigus in conjunction with a 28″ stolen putter.
Coincidences….I think not.
3) I am uncomfortable with all of the tight camera slow motion shots of Rory’s hips.
4) It’s good to see Sergio look like he is having just a little fun.
5) Rickie Fowler, Bubba Watson, Hunter Mahan and Ben Crane are thinking they should have spent more time on the range and less time making a music video.
6) Johnny Miller is still fun to listen to, but you need to check out Hank Haney’s tweeter account. He does a great job and answers tons of questions.
7) Fredrik Jacobson is just one silly hat away from looking like a milk man.
If it goes bad, Fredrik can always get in the milk biz.
8) Jason Day is for real.
9) Somewhere, Tiger is thinking, I am definitely F*#@ed.
Golf Boys Video featuring Bubba Watson, Ben Crane, Rickie Fowler and Hunter Mahan: Ugh, I’m so disappointed. For a second I thought we might have a breakthrough on the “professional golfers are boring as all hell” front, as my Yahoo! homescreen touted this video as comedy gold. Ben Crane (who has had some funny videos in the past), Bubba Watson, Rickie Fowler, and Hunter Mahan letting their guard down and showing the world they can be wackos too . . . sign me up (minus the Bubba chest hair) for the Golf Boys Video. Then I watched it.
NKOTB parody? Nope. Super Bowl Shuffle peer? Nope. Meaningless blubbering train-wreck? Si senor.
Whoever is behind the Golf Boys Video gem seemed to forget that you actually need some funny stuff to go down in order to make a funny video. Maybe even more than one verse. And no matter what, how about a slight hint at what the freaking joke IS anyway?!?! Did I miss something?
I won’t hold the golfers responsible, as they are clearly just pawns in the game. So whoever it is I’m directing this towards – you must realize that the sports-mixed with-entertainment concept has actually become pretty evolved over the last decade or two. I think I was still soiling my mattress fortnightly when Bob Uecker was yelling “down in front!”, and things have only gotten better from there. We’ve had characters like Shaq, Terry Tate, Peyton Manning . . . shoot, even the comedically overrated Peter Jacobsen could beat this video in a “look at me I’m the life of the Tour” contest.
Check this out guys, Bob Hope taught me this one. Guys?
Ultimately I just want to point out to the guys on Tour that dressing funny and being a professional athlete is not a magical Reese’s recipe for comedy on its own . . . you still need some actual comedy. Unfortunately, I am smackface reminded that the world of professional golf is so far behind in the coolness column that they thought this spazzfest was cutting edge. I digress – I could critique this video for days, but of course that would become tiresome for all. Instead, how about just one small example of sports/comedy gold (sadly . . . suck it, golf!):
Peyton Manning – currently tied with Kevin Garnett for most naturally talented comedic actor-athlete, according to THIS GUY.
