Two days into the Open, post cut, heading into Moving Day, and I’m sure we’re all wondering how blog Kharma is doing if she was betting in Vegas.  Let’s look at every golfer in the field that has been mentioned thus far:

Kharma opens w a record of  0-0

Just look at this subset of the overnight Leaderboard golf fans – Let’s take a gander at these Rocks of Ages!

T2  -4  Mark OMeara                Age 56
T4  -3  Tom Lehman                 Age 54
T4  -3  Miguel Angel Jiminez    Age 49
T9  -2  Todd Hamilton               Age 47

Between the four of them are 206 years old!

Like Reservoir Dogs the Loudmouth Krewe has hit The Open Championship at Muirfield Golf Club in Gullane, Scotland! A few Loudmouths sojourn to The Open every year (no one calls it the British Open on this side of the pond) because John Daly won The Open in 1995 at St Andrews and is grand fathered in for the rest of his competitive golfing career. It is a fantastic event and always great to catch up with the extended International Loudmouth Family.

But enough of that, let’s talk about who is gonna WIN!

Before I tell you who is going to win …

Daly has had a sore elbow for years and has been staving off the inevitable elbow surgery as long as possible. As you may have heard less than 2 weeks ago during the back 9 of the Fri round at the Greenbrier he hit a shot just wrong and actually tore his elbow up pretty good. He has played in pain before (some of those stories are horrifying when he retells them) but he knew immediately that this injury was far too severe to keep playing. He shook his playing partners hands (left handed) and immediately pulled an Elvis and left the building. He had reconstructive surgery last Thur and as much as we are all crossing our fingers for a full recovery of the “Bionic Elbow”, it is unfortunate not to have him here at Muirfield. He is always a great draw at the Open but alas, he is sitting at home in Dardenelle, Arkansas w a completely incapacitated immobile elbow for a month, then 2 more months of light stretching and physical therapy before he and the new BE (Bionic Elbow) are allowed to touch a club and start the greatest comeback in the history of golf!

Crap, I got sidetracked again. So as you may also know, JD is a prodigious gambler and since he hasnt done any drinking since 2008 when he got his lap band stomach surgery, he is actually pretty good at it! In April when we spoke at the Masters he picked Justin Rose to win saying that he was putting as well as anyone on the planet. Rose hung around at Augusta deep into the tourney and had a fine showing and then went on to win the US Open in spectacular fashion so Daly only missed Rose’s win by 1 major so I asked him today who was the “Best Bet” at The Open since he cares about the best odds. JD’s dark horse and prediction for making $$s is Nicolas Colsaerts and I picked Jason Day (though that isn’t as much of a dark horse), we have $20 bet on who finishes higher.

So as I sign off on this Tuesday evening the most interesting moment today happened on the driving range. Rory was at one end of the driving range, took a break, and strolled down the range talking to all his golfing buddies. He spent plenty of time chatting w Europeans but he had a bit of  time for anyone he knew from everywhere across the globe. He walked up to Ian Poulter, leaned on his bag, and said “Hi Ian”.  Nothing. He quietly stood there as Ian waggled and waggled and waggled and finally hit his shot and then … Crickets. Ian didn’t even acknowledge Rory at all so I was thinking, “Maybe he didn’t hear Rory, but that is crap, I’m 20 feet away and I heard him!” Rory shrugged and just strolled away and many a jaw dropped in silence around that area of the range after witnessing a Royal diss’ing.

Note to Poulter: Ian – Sure, there is a lot of pressure for your attention, but don’t be a Doosh! Be nice to your buddies. And if you would like some help getting your IJP clothing line out of the flat sales doldrums (especially your abysmal non-existent web sales) invite me to play Lake Nona this winter and I’ll school you in online retail (where Loudmouth is a PowerHouse) while you school me in the art of the up and down …

From a business standpoint, a golf course has many ways to make an impression on a golfer’s mind – course layout, course conditions, the people, the price, and for the purposes of this post, the clubhouse. Now as a typical meathead golfer, I’ve never really cared if I paid my greens fees in a replica of the Taj Mahal or through the side door of a double-wide, just let me get to the first tee as soon as possible. In fact, when it comes to pro shops, I could care less what products they have to offer, because quite frankly, I ain’t buyin ’em. I’m not sure who decided that making a purchase in a golf clubhouse should be the fiscal equivalent to an airport or Disney World, but I do know that I am certainly not their target demographic and therefore I feel no obligation to take part (nor do I feel any guilt over bringing my own Gatorades and pony keg to the track).

“Sorry, can’t go lower than $75 on the shirt. Inventory turnover? I don’t follow.”

For that reason, I don’t even bother rating a clubhouse for any of the various ways that they decide to do their thing . . . with one exception: the hot dog. The golf course dog has been a staple of the American golfing experience since 1776 (according to my records), and along with $11.00 sleeves of Top-Flites, it is something that can be counted on at every course. The continuity, however, stops there.  I’ve compiled the following list to help each facility shore up their course hot dog game to satisfactory levels. To clubhouses everywhere, please heed the following tips:

1) Speed – the entire essence of the course dog is that it’s the quick option when making the turn. If I need more than a Snickers bar or some ridiculous Nab-like product to “fuel” my sweet game, it is universally understood that my only logical option as a legitimate golfer is the dog. Therefore, just make-a-da-dog. If some nutjob ahead of me ordered the grilled chicken club, or my genius buddy went with the pulled pork daily special, that’s their problem. A golfer who orders a hot dog is a responsible one – his/her order takes priority every time.

2) Availability – A sub-category of speed. However you choose to cook your raw materials, whether it be via boiling water, the grill, or the always classy log-roller, just make sure they are at the ready at all times. If you open the clubhouse at 7:00 a.m. to do a breakfast run, please do not wait until 10:45 to fire up los dogans. For starters, it is physically impossible to overcook a hot dog. Second, if I come through the turn anytime after 9:00 a.m. the hot dog is officially in play – don’t tell me they “just went on” and make me decide whether or not to roll the dice on a potentially raw dog. I’ve got enough going on in my cranium out there, no need to pile on. And finally, worst-case scenario is you make too many and end up tossing a few hot dogs at the end of the day . . . at $0.07 per unit, I’m certain the budget can handle it.

3) Diameter – I’m not sure how this happened, but apparently some of the higher-end courses have been convinced that the quality of a hot dog is directly correlated to its diameter. FALSE! In reality, an argument could be made that a hot dog is simply a vehicle for consuming bread, mustard, onions, chili, slaw, or whatever else the champion golfer in you desires. So by that logic, a hot dog simply cannot be too skinny. Furthermore, when dealing with an encased tube of meat byproduct, there comes a point where the appeal actually decreases as diameter increases. In Econ 101 we call this the point of diminishing marginal returns; in the case of golf course dogs it’s simply coined “the point where I am suddenly reminded that hot dogs consist solely of lips and assholes”.

4) Good rolls – Obvious, right? Apparently not. I’m not saying you have to steampress the buns after making them from scratch that morning, but for the love of Tim Herron let’s make sure they have more moisture in them than your average sand trap. And much like with the hot dog itself, bigger/fancier bread does not automatically mean a better overall dog. Keep it simple, it’s one of the lowest forms of food in modern society, second maybe to Funyuns.

“Come again?”

5) Price – Sounds obvious but not so fast. Generally speaking, the hot dog should be the cheapest real food option on the menu at all times, and I think almost all courses abide by that rule. Every restaurant/bar that has 10 craft beers on tap and 30 others in bottles always has an offering of PBR that is $2.50 or less, as if to say “yes, for the most part we are ridiculous but if you’re not into it we’re still glad you came”. The golf course dog should play the same role – it is a clubhouse’s one chance to reach out to the everyday golfer and shake their hand. A frequent problem is that some courses seem to think that they are not allowed to sell any item for under $4.50 . . . but how can you justify that number with a lowly hot dog? Easy, add some mandatory chips and tack on 2 bucks. That’s bush league. The last thing I need is a side item with my one-handed grub. If I want the aftermath of this purchase to noisily last until the 13th hole, I’ll buy some chips.

That’s it on the dogs, but here’s a bonus cranky side note: It always seems so smart and efficient when courses put the menu and call box (dating myself) on the 9th tee. This way everyone can place their order ahead of time and pick it up on the fly. Brilliant, right? Well I’m not here to fully bash this concept, but I don’t want you proprietors to be so pleased with yourselves over it. The fact is, this option encourages too many donkeys to order the fried oyster po’boy with garlic aioli, which even if they ordered on the 7th tee would still force us to wait around for 10 minutes at the turn. Perhaps even more overlooked, however, is the level of hassle and complexity that just got introduced to the round. By the time I’m at the 9th tee, the last thing I need is to try and wrangle an entire lunch order for 4 meatballs, some of whom might want potato salad instead of chips or swiss cheese instead of cheddar. I just want to play some golf! So you can keep the menus out there if you want, just don’t give yourselves too much credit for improving the game.

“It doesn’t matter which comes first, it’s just half lemona . . . forget it, I’ll come do it myself.”

Late Tuesday evening I learned of the unexpected death of James Roundy, founder of Asher Golf. Even though I have only spent a few hours in the company of James, the news hit me hard and I have found myself preoccupied thinking about him and the family he has left behind.

I watched my first tournament of the year this weekend (and Monday night), and quite frankly, it’s good to get back into the golf thang. Without taking too much of your time, a couple of tid-bits I noticed while watching our boy Tiger get it done:

– Did CBS bring in a cinematography crew over the off-season to add some spice to the broadcast? There were a few times this weekend when I didn’t know if I was watching a lag putt or a Terrence Malick film. I know Torrey Pines is a pretty cool place, but really I always thought Pebble Beach was the kingpin of landscapes . . . well I’ve never seen more majestic shots and vanguard camera angles than during this weekend’s tournament, makes me think there is a concerted effort to add a little Sundance to the game.

And while we’re here, is California like 4,000 times more fun than the rest of the planet or what? Hang-gliding, paragliding, parasailing, ultralight piloting. Does anyone have jobs? I like to think I love where I live, but good lord, if you didn’t get jealous of that scene out there while watching the tournament this weekend you should check your pulse.

Just like my home course, really.

– I saw a lot more yukking it up on the course during this tournament than I ever have, except for maybe a Skins Game back in 1986 that featured Fuzzy Zoeller on the tee sheet. Rarely do we get to see Pros standing on a tee cracking up with other players and caddies (not even their own!), guys walking down the fairway shooting the breeze, caddies throwing their guy his cleaned ball across the green, etc. Of course this has always been a part of the game, and I never understood why golf coverage was so hell-bent on NOT showing it. Maybe they’ve had a change of heart in that department as well. If so, it’s about time.

To that end, can we stop accusing Tiger of being a “robot”? He was having as much fun as anyone out there, that kid Horschel had him cracking up, and it doesn’t look like anyone out there is treating him like Darth Vader or Bobby Knight (redundant? . . . watch some NCAA coverage on ESPN and get back to me). Of course he tends to shut it down when the tournament is on the line, but if that’s how he wins then so be it. When Phil doesn’t discipline himself in crunch time we crucify him – we can’t have it both ways.

– Gotta love McCord and Feherty.

– Gotta love the new Taylor Made R-1 commercial, that club looks . . . oh wait, what’s happening . . . NO!!!

Yes . . .

This is happening . . .

All about the payday, right? . . .

I’m not turning my head.

TaylorMade painted their faces! They let their faces be painted by TaylorMade! It’s a hall of mirrors in bad marketing gimmick deployment! I’m sure the club is sweet, and of course TaylorMade has had more than their fair share of home runs, but I gotta call them out on this one. I can see how this ever-so-thin line can get crossed in a concept meeting, I’m just surprised that Dustin Johnson’s look of sheer disappointment at the photo shoot didn’t give TaylorMade pause. I guess it’s the most fierce Justin Rose has ever looked, so it’s got that going for it. No worries TaylorMade, I still love your Ghost Spider.

Wow, what a week. This was my second PGA Merchandise Show but my first time attending Demo Day. For those of you who have never been to Demo Day, it is quite the sight. Basically, you have a 360 degree driving range with every company in the world staking out a piece of land, albeit some stakes of land are bigger than others. While I had no desire to actually hit any balls, I must have been in the minority since there was a 90 minute wait to hit balls at the TaylorMade booth. Worse was the 45 minute wait for a freaking hot dog. Seriously, how do you run out of hot dogs? What scheduling genius did not foresee 40,000 people stranded in the middle of nowhere not getting hungry?

Other highlights of Demo Day included meeting Three Guys Golf hero, Jimmy Ballard. Jimmy was there demonstrating the Swing Shirt which made our Top 12 of 2012 list. If you have never heard Jimmy talk, do a little googling. He is an absolute hoot.

Although I did not hit any balls, I did take advantage of the putting green which was much more fan friendly in my opinion. I stopped by to see some of the mid-sized companies like Axis 1, Rife and Seemore to see their 2013 putters but what really caught my eye was a new company called Kronos.

The founders of Kronos are about 14 years old (well maybe 26) but you get the idea. Somehow, they have created a putter that is simply gorgeous and rolls exceptionally well.

All in all, demo day was pretty cool although it really is fairly difficult to navigate the 3 mile circle of tents. Note to self, don’t tell anyone you will double back.

The remainder of the PGA Merchandise Show takes place in the Convention Center which is equally huge (but at least has plenty of food). I saw about 400 companies so I won’t give you the big list –  instead, I’ll just mention the ones I can remember or I took pictures of.

Let’s start with shoes. The ones I really dig this year are True Linkswear, Ecco and the new Footjoy. True Linkswear has become my favorite shoe and the new Proto and Chukka versions are killer. Ecco has a couple of new versions, the Biom Zero (below) and a dress shoe with a soft spike.

Footjoy has also stepped up the game with the M Project. I tried these on and they are very comfortable. Apparently they got the memo that not every shoe has to be a saddle.

Since I push a cart about 85% of the time, I wanted to check out all of the new carts. ClicGear’s new Rover is super cool and a bit smaller than the 3.0 version. I also saw a bunch of all-in-one versions. In other words, bag and cart connected. We actually have the AlphaRD cart in for review so look for that later. The one below is another example although I cannot remember who makes it.

On the apparel side, a few companies caught my eye. Chase 54 had a huge booth considering how young they are. What I learned is they have a big manufacturing advantage which has allowed them to produce an impressive line of clothing in a short amount of time. We have a bunch of Chase 54 stuff in house for review so be on the lookout for that post.

Ironically, it was the European companies that really stood out in Orlando. Specifically, Kartel, Lyle & Scott, Cross Golf and Tom Morris had super cool looks and we hope to have reviews for all of these companies in 2013.

Best expensive product: Full Swing Golf. $65,000 all in gets you your personal hitting range. It is the coolest thing ever, and the putting is not bad either. Seriously, if you want your kid to make the tour, buy this. Imagine 2,000 balls a day and never leaving the house. Plus, you can play all the great courses (the graphics are amazing).

Cheapest best product: Real Steak Jerky. This product single handily saved me from starvation on Demo Day. This is not Slim Jim. Nope, it’s like a steak sandwich in a bag. Seriously, it rules.

Other Random thoughts from the days:

I dig Salty Grips: Putter grips made out of cork feel great and hold up well.

Too many bouncers and fancy booths: Come on guys, this is not a night club, I dig your stuff and the company, how about being friendly? Take notes from the Loudmouth and Asher Glove folks if you have questions.

James Patrick wedges may be the best kept secret ever. Since he makes them one by one I guess it is not a surprise, but the guy is like the yoda of wedges.

Guy who you need to follow on Instagram: Known as Thee Jew Fro, and his side-kick iDaleeeO, these two are a freaking riot, and super nice. I spent Friday night hanging out with them and let me just say, it was worth feeling like hell on Saturday morning.

Until next year….

Ah the age old question, performance-tech fabric shirt or cotton shirt? Okay well maybe the question isn’t that historic, but when it comes to golf shirts, it is quickly becoming relevant. Back in the day the only option was cotton, and while nobody knew enough to complain, the introduction of various sport-tech fibers brought applause from the masses. The new shirts were lighter, cooler (temperature-wise), and seemingly allowed more room for the golf swing.

Author’s note: If I must acknowledge the fact that they wick away moisture, I will, but I am now obligated to point out that this also creates your own little B.O. factory, so maybe pipe down on that one.

I have always been a slow mover when it comes to the next big thing in golf, with the overriding principle being that I’d rather look like a worse golfer than I am . . . the opposite effect gives me shivers just at the thought of it. So when the new fabrics started coming out and the golf shirt was reinvented, I was far from first in line at the stores. The last thing I needed to do was drop $60.00 on a fancy, often shiny new shirt and proceed to honk one off the first tee into the gorse. So I stuck with the picque polos like a good frat-boy should, and after a tough day at the course I had the red scratches on my chin to prove it.

Years later I was given a legitimate golf-tech shirt as a gift and was suddenly a fan. My swing felt all sweet, as far as I was concerned anyway, and I was able to keep a bit cooler during the hottest rounds of the summer. And for a second there, I looked cooler too.

Which brings us to a new crossroads in 2012. As Adam has pointed out a few times, manufacturers are now making better cotton materials that make for a better cotton golf shirt, e.g. QED Style, Criquet, Linksoul, Martin and Leisure Society.

Oen of our favorite cotton golf shirts. QED Style Francis Polo

So there’s that. Keeping that in mind, I contend that there are two compelling reasons it’s time to make the switch back to cotton:

1) The performance techy golf shirt has been done to death, and unlike cotton, it is not timeless. Too many dudes have folded it into their everyday wardrobe. We could surely place part of the blame on the casual Friday movement, but I’m not here as an anthropologist . . . the fact is, they just aren’t legitimate good looking shirts. They were designed with a purpose in mind, and much like with the Palm Pilot or Ivana Trump, something better looking has come along that gets the job done just as well. At this point it’s just another middle-aged-man look, trotting dutifully behind the all-white Seinfeld sneakers and pale jeans (sorry guys, I know you’re all good people and probably don’t care either way).

And 2) wait for it . . . manboobs! As I hit my late 30’s I have noticed that my sweet pectorals, if not presented correctly, could easily be misconstrued as a pair of PhillyMick specials. Shocking, but true. How do I defend against this phenomenon? Wear anything BUT tech fabric golf shirts!

Exhibit #1

Performance fabric tends to hang off those suckers like drapes, bringing undue attention and shadowy stuff to one’s manmary glands. Before scoffing at this notion, please go ask two or three of your peers and see what they have to say, as it is very difficult to judge yourself in this matter (and remember, denial is Stage 1). Don’t believe your friends? Just go to the research – awesome scientists agree that 6 out of 10 men over age 30 who declare themselves innocent of bombsmuggling are actually guilty in the first degree. And guess what, this number increases to 9 out of 10 when tech fabric golf shirts are brought into the equation!  So don’t shoot the messenger – it’s science.

Man-nips? You’re on your own there.

For the past year or so I have been trying to get my son into golf which has turned out to be harder than expected. I think the root of the problem is that unlike nearly every other sport, you can’t just go play golf. Nope, you have to learn to hit the ball, chip, and putt before you ever set foot on a real course. Since kids (and Allen Iverson) are not exactly into practice, this can make breaking into the sport even more difficult. So the question becomes: How to make golf fun for kids?

For over a decade, Sunday and golf have meant only one thing – Tiger in red. Tiger has won 14 majors and some 60 other times in his traditional Sunday black pants and red shirt. While the texture and cut of the shirt may have changed, the color has not.

Now with his three year drought of major wins, I am posing the question: should Tiger abandon or at least rest his Sunday red? This may be blasphemy or branding heresy to even suggest, but let me just play this supposition out.

Ever since Tiger burst onto the scene, Sunday red brought out the Tiger in Tiger and struck fear in those who entertained the idea of challenging him. Every Tiger fist pump is punctuated in red. Every jaw dropping putt, every 180 yard eight iron is draped in red. Yes, red is the color of victory.

Red – The Color of Victory

Now, however, I wonder if the weight of emotions, history and expectations associated with Sunday red is actually more of a burden than it is a benefit.

Since golf is one of the few sports that does not require a uniform, each player is allowed to dress in accordance with his own personal style or brand. While Ian Poulter and Rickie Fowler have some of the most recognizable and distinctive looks on tour, no one, but no one owns a color the way Tiger owns red. Red is a brand, a feeling, an expectation that is universally recognized and no one knows this more than the man himself, Tiger Woods.

In a game where the smallest of differentiation of ability separates 1st from 10th place, the mental advantage often becomes the tie-breaker. While I would never credit Sunday red for the mass of trophies Tiger has won, I do believe he held a significant mental advantage over the field. Now however, I am left to wonder if the aura of red is a weight upon his shoulders. Look, I know we all get jacked up when our favorite team goes with the throw back jersey for the big rivalry game, but if you’ve spent the last 8 seasons getting trounced, at some point it loses its magic. No need to get all sappy, just move on to the next piece of superstition.

Picture if you will, Tiger, who by the way needs a tailor like Phil needs a barber, strolling to the first tee on Sunday wearing crisp white pants and a lime green shirt. Yup, the media would go nuts, Johnny Miller would have a cow and Jim Nantz would be rendered speechless but maybe, just maybe Tiger would get just the burst of confidence and vigor he needs to break through once again.

Could shedding the red be a proverbial removing the monkey? While I would love to play this experiment out, the chances that Tiger does anything this daring is exactly slim to none with slim having left the building.

Some may argue that Tiger’s relationship with Nike would never allow such a switch even if Tiger was of this mindset. While I may be naive, you will never convince me that money or contracts would ever stop Tiger from giving himself the best chance to break Jack’s record.

Alas this is all folly since we know Tiger is too stubborn and proud to ever shed the red. I would point out, however, that a certain Mr. Michael Jordan gave up the iconic #23 before reclaiming it – how did that turn out?

I can always tell when students return for the fall semester in Chapel Hill because our sleepy little town swells with an additional 20,000 eager students. While most of these kids are leaving an idle summer behind, incoming Freshman Samantha Marks’s summer was highlighted by playing in the 2012 Women’s US Open at Blackwolf Run.

Anyone who watches golf (especially this year it seems) knows that no lead is safe. Given the fact that I had just watched Adam Scott card four consecutive bogeys to let the 2012 Open slip away, I thought I would start my interview with two-time LPGA winner Stacy Prammanasudh by asking her about staying focused during the final stretch of a golf tournament. She admitted that even though she was able to avoid looking at a leader board during her first win on the Futures Tour, most times it is a real challenge to stay in the moment.

Last week, I had the opportunity to interview the legendary, but often overlooked, golf instructor Jimmy Ballard. If you are not familiar with Jimmy Ballard, his impressive resume is outlined here and here. In short, Ballard’s methods are often summed up in one word, “Connection.” While everyone knows who Haney, Harmon and Foley are, the lesser known Jimmy Ballard’s list of students is a virtual who’s who of winners including Curtis Strange, Hal Sutton, Jim Colbert, Rocco Mediate as well as Jesper Parnevik and Annika Sorenstam (via his work with the Swedish golf program). Moreover, Jimmy worked with these players at the height of their careers, so while Jimmy may not have the name cache as other famous coaches, he has a winning resume that would stack up against the best of them.